九月去西安的時候旅途中被拉去了延安兩天,在和延安的同學們做分享的時候,延安大學
                                                                               
英語教育(?)系的同學們一上台,就很自然地,幾乎不需要經過拖延的,就唱起了秦腔,
                                                                               
作為延安地區音樂的代表。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
隨後,在作為回應上的台灣地區的代表音樂的時候,我們傻眼了很久,也推託了很久,真
                                                                               
的不知道什麼樣的音樂才能代表台灣的音樂。什麼西北雨、天烏烏都出來了,最後是學長
                                                                               
一聲令下,直接唱起了這首「愛拚才會贏」。
                                                                                
                    

                                                                               
時代背景什麼的,也許這些歌(包含愛拚)在某個特殊的年代的確是代表了整個台灣的意
                                                                               
識(也ex反共抗日歌曲),可是在現代,當延安大學的同學們提議要唱能夠代表台灣的歌
                                                                               
曲的時候,我真的完全想不起來,也不知道究竟在現在的這個時代,誰有那個足夠的份量
                                                                               
,可以安之若素的挑起這個「代表」的份量。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
似乎也沒有像是「秦腔」一樣的傳統,可以代表延安、西安地區的歷史記憶、或是某種地
                                                                               
區印象。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
如果說是歌仔戲、布袋戲、原住民音樂、客家庄採茶歌……,台灣這麼小,居然容納了這
                                                                               
麼多的特色、這麼多的方言,就像我好奇問了延安大學同學,關於延安地區的方言怎麼說
                     

,又教了她們「呷飽沒」的時候一樣,我突然覺得台灣很厲害(笑
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
喂,我們台灣面積連一個西安市都不到,擁有的方言數量卻是你們一整個陝西省的方言量
                                                                               
還多的數量啊。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
當然用更大的觀點,整個中國大陸的視角來看,台灣連小指頭都比不上吧。可是,台灣居
                                                                               
然讓我想不出一個足夠份量的代表,可以在這種場合下,毫無猶豫的立刻開唱出來。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
也許是因為我在台灣,自由慣了,可以誰也不服誰,你認同的代表人物,我壓根覺得他就
                                                                               
是個小咖。也許是因為這樣吧。所以我舉不出例子,很直白的說出誰才是台灣音樂代表。
                                                                                
                                                                                                            
可是,從另外一個方面來想,這是不是代表了台灣的「傳統」正在消失?
                                                                               
                                                                               
我賭延安大學的同學一定也覺得秦腔沒什麼,了不起就是個跟台灣的歌仔戲一樣地位的東
                                                                               
西。可是他們毫無猶豫的就唱出來了。反觀我們台灣人,居然推託延遲了很久,才在學長
                                                                               
一時急智下,唱起了這首「愛拚才會贏」。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
事後,走出分享教室的時候,我聽到學長頗無奈的低語,他會叫大家唱這首,其實也是因
                                                                               
為他真的不知道台灣有什麼代表歌曲可以唱,乾脆隨便拉一首大家一定記得歌詞的歌來唱
                                                                               

                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
連結了最近看到陳宛茜所寫的那篇,新世代面目模糊的文章來看,我們何止面目模糊,是

                                                                              
根本連自己長什麼樣子,都沒有定論了吧。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
我們知道我們長了什麼樣子,很多很多的樣子,漢人、原住民、從東南亞來的新住民、從
                                                                               
歐美地區來的西方人、從五大洲世界神秘角落來的訪客……,我們都知道這些人的長樣,
                                                                               
也知道他們正在加入台灣這個地方,形成新的台灣面貌,可是,全部拼湊起來,誰知道台
                                                                               
灣人長什麼樣子?
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
我們摸著自己的臉,知道有個概念叫做「我是台灣人」,卻不知道什麼叫做台灣。老人、
                                                                               
有了一點年紀的師長輩會閃閃躲躲的說「我是中國人」,「你也是中國人」,「台灣人和
                                                                               
大陸人都是中國人」,「我們是同胞」。
                                                                                
                    

                                                                              
「那你是台灣人嗎?」,「……」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
馬英九上任,最大的好處就是我有很多機會可以用學生的身份,便宜的去大陸,感受、打
                                                                               
開我的一些感官看法,但是,我絕對不能認同的是,我們得卑躬屈膝的告訴大陸,我們是
                                                                               
同胞這回事。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
我從來就不覺得我和大陸人是同胞。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
你是中國人,我是台灣人,就這麼簡單。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
自由的時代、自由的地區會產生很大的風暴,雖然還是不知道什麼才是「台灣人的面貌」

                                                                               
,可是我們也可以抱持著不必被人左右、被人指使著「知道」自己的面貌長什麼樣子的驕
                                                                               
傲,敦厚地去找到自己的認同。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
把誰拿出來當靶子都沒有用,關鍵是自己能不能自由的認同這個東西。我會很慨嘆「傳統
                                                                               
」的失去,很恐懼這個自由的時代找不到我所想堅持住的,想要依附的人物或是價值核心
                                                                               
,可是創造傳統其實也是個很重要的工作,尤其是在現在這個自由的沒有標準價值的世界
                                                                               
裡,能夠形成出來並且延續下去的傳統,一定會是很驚人的精華。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
雖然也很有可能是民粹而不可知(這就有賴年鑑學家的長期努力了(笑)
                                                                               
                                                                               
但無論如何,做為突發的、對陳宛茜的回應,我還是會繼續期待下一個十年、下下一個十
                                                                              

年、下下下一個十年……
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
有人說過這是一個由感官和精神認知所構成的世界,那麼我就抱持著這個想法,去看看未
                                                                               
來在自由的時代所產生的風暴中,精神認知和感官,究竟會衝擊出什麼樣的風暴,最後又
                                                                               
會沈澱下什麼神奇的東西吧。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
作為歷史人,我沒學會努力挖掘消失的過去,反而先學會了坐下來等待事件的發展這種事
                                                                               
,難怪老是被老師們噹XDDDDD
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
以上,是我對最近生活的一些感觸,也是我小老頭子的碎碎念。
                                                                                
                                                                                
                     

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