hsly（爾狐）

                                                                               
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                               
九月去西安的時候旅途中被拉去了延安兩天，在和延安的同學們做分享的時候，延安大學
                                                                               
英語教育(？)系的同學們一上台，就很自然地，幾乎不需要經過拖延的，就唱起了秦腔，
                                                                               
作為延安地區音樂的代表。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
隨後，在作為回應上的台灣地區的代表音樂的時候，我們傻眼了很久，也推託了很久，真
                                                                               
的不知道什麼樣的音樂才能代表台灣的音樂。什麼西北雨、天烏烏都出來了，最後是學長
                                                                               
一聲令下，直接唱起了這首「愛拚才會贏」。
                                                                                
                    

                                                                               
時代背景什麼的，也許這些歌（包含愛拚）在某個特殊的年代的確是代表了整個台灣的意
                                                                               
識（也ex反共抗日歌曲），可是在現代，當延安大學的同學們提議要唱能夠代表台灣的歌
                                                                               
曲的時候，我真的完全想不起來，也不知道究竟在現在的這個時代，誰有那個足夠的份量
                                                                               
，可以安之若素的挑起這個「代表」的份量。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
似乎也沒有像是「秦腔」一樣的傳統，可以代表延安、西安地區的歷史記憶、或是某種地
                                                                               
區印象。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
如果說是歌仔戲、布袋戲、原住民音樂、客家庄採茶歌……，台灣這麼小，居然容納了這
                                                                               
麼多的特色、這麼多的方言，就像我好奇問了延安大學同學，關於延安地區的方言怎麼說
                     

，又教了她們「呷飽沒」的時候一樣，我突然覺得台灣很厲害（笑
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
喂，我們台灣面積連一個西安市都不到，擁有的方言數量卻是你們一整個陝西省的方言量
                                                                               
還多的數量啊。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
當然用更大的觀點，整個中國大陸的視角來看，台灣連小指頭都比不上吧。可是，台灣居
                                                                               
然讓我想不出一個足夠份量的代表，可以在這種場合下，毫無猶豫的立刻開唱出來。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
也許是因為我在台灣，自由慣了，可以誰也不服誰，你認同的代表人物，我壓根覺得他就
                                                                               
是個小咖。也許是因為這樣吧。所以我舉不出例子，很直白的說出誰才是台灣音樂代表。
                                                                                
                                                                                                            
可是，從另外一個方面來想，這是不是代表了台灣的「傳統」正在消失？
                                                                               
                                                                               
我賭延安大學的同學一定也覺得秦腔沒什麼，了不起就是個跟台灣的歌仔戲一樣地位的東
                                                                               
西。可是他們毫無猶豫的就唱出來了。反觀我們台灣人，居然推託延遲了很久，才在學長
                                                                               
一時急智下，唱起了這首「愛拚才會贏」。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
事後，走出分享教室的時候，我聽到學長頗無奈的低語，他會叫大家唱這首，其實也是因
                                                                               
為他真的不知道台灣有什麼代表歌曲可以唱，乾脆隨便拉一首大家一定記得歌詞的歌來唱
                                                                               
。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
連結了最近看到陳宛茜所寫的那篇，新世代面目模糊的文章來看，我們何止面目模糊，是

                                                                              
根本連自己長什麼樣子，都沒有定論了吧。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
我們知道我們長了什麼樣子，很多很多的樣子，漢人、原住民、從東南亞來的新住民、從
                                                                               
歐美地區來的西方人、從五大洲世界神秘角落來的訪客……，我們都知道這些人的長樣，
                                                                               
也知道他們正在加入台灣這個地方，形成新的台灣面貌，可是，全部拼湊起來，誰知道台
                                                                               
灣人長什麼樣子？
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
我們摸著自己的臉，知道有個概念叫做「我是台灣人」，卻不知道什麼叫做台灣。老人、
                                                                               
有了一點年紀的師長輩會閃閃躲躲的說「我是中國人」，「你也是中國人」，「台灣人和
                                                                               
大陸人都是中國人」，「我們是同胞」。
                                                                                
                    

                                                                              
「那你是台灣人嗎？」，「……」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
馬英九上任，最大的好處就是我有很多機會可以用學生的身份，便宜的去大陸，感受、打
                                                                               
開我的一些感官看法，但是，我絕對不能認同的是，我們得卑躬屈膝的告訴大陸，我們是
                                                                               
同胞這回事。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
我從來就不覺得我和大陸人是同胞。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
你是中國人，我是台灣人，就這麼簡單。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
自由的時代、自由的地區會產生很大的風暴，雖然還是不知道什麼才是「台灣人的面貌」

                                                                               
，可是我們也可以抱持著不必被人左右、被人指使著「知道」自己的面貌長什麼樣子的驕
                                                                               
傲，敦厚地去找到自己的認同。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
把誰拿出來當靶子都沒有用，關鍵是自己能不能自由的認同這個東西。我會很慨嘆「傳統
                                                                               
」的失去，很恐懼這個自由的時代找不到我所想堅持住的，想要依附的人物或是價值核心
                                                                               
，可是創造傳統其實也是個很重要的工作，尤其是在現在這個自由的沒有標準價值的世界
                                                                               
裡，能夠形成出來並且延續下去的傳統，一定會是很驚人的精華。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
雖然也很有可能是民粹而不可知（這就有賴年鑑學家的長期努力了（笑）
                                                                               
                                                                               
但無論如何，做為突發的、對陳宛茜的回應，我還是會繼續期待下一個十年、下下一個十
                                                                              

年、下下下一個十年……
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
有人說過這是一個由感官和精神認知所構成的世界，那麼我就抱持著這個想法，去看看未
                                                                               
來在自由的時代所產生的風暴中，精神認知和感官，究竟會衝擊出什麼樣的風暴，最後又
                                                                               
會沈澱下什麼神奇的東西吧。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
作為歷史人，我沒學會努力挖掘消失的過去，反而先學會了坐下來等待事件的發展這種事
                                                                               
，難怪老是被老師們噹XDDDDD
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
以上，是我對最近生活的一些感觸，也是我小老頭子的碎碎念。